pondering art.

when I was little, I wanted to be a myriad of things. an astronaut, an actress, an archaeologist, a traveler, an artist, then there was that one time when I was 7 and decided I was going to be the world’s greatest ice cream truck driver (yeah…I had some pretty high aspirations)..the list goes on and on. as I got older, I tried to be more realistic. I could be a nurse, a teacher, a psychologist (although given how much I hated school, come on..we both know that one was never gonna happen). but my heart was still drawn to art. creating. be it painting, sewing, photography, music. creating something beautiful has been my hearts desire since I was young, and it still is.

I’ve struggled with it though. art. the drive to create. I love being a mom, but it’s a full-time job. it’s time consuming. rarely do I have even a minute to sit down and doodle anything without World War III breaking out in the middle of our room. sometimes it’s frustrating. when that creative bug bites and you have other things more pressing to take care of (there’s poop pellets sprinkled all over the floor, the baby is eating baby wipes, judah is tye-dying our sheets with his cranberry juice…), but that itch doesn’t just go away. it gets worse.

it was during one of these ‘I need to release some creative energy, but my crazy wombats won’t sit still more than two seconds’ episodes that God kind of opened my eyes to my kids in a new way. an artistic way. he blessed me with these two energetic, spunky, wired, fun, crazy, adoring, wonderful, beautiful boys. these two blank canvases. and He commissioned me to paint. He’s gifted me with what I need to turn these little canvases into masterpieces. everyday, new little bits are painted and added to the artwork of their lives. sometimes, in my self-centeredness, my brush strokes are hasty and choppy. they aren’t beautiful or caring. yes, sometimes I may feel that they deserve a snap, but as I’m painting, I’m also imprinting into the souls of these little people what kind of painters they’ll grow up to become.

the day to day can grow dull and frustrating. sometimes it feels like my work, as a stay at home mom, is so much less important than others. but that couldn’t be further from the truth. it’s in those drab and dull moments that I need to look closely, search for beauty and paint some light. I’ve been entrusted with two little canvases. if I don’t paint them, the world will.

so…it’s time to start painting! 😉